The other day I came across a picture which had the caption: “OMG, I love macaroni so much. I’m such a nerd.” This irked me to the very core of my being. Your quaint quirks don’t make you a nerd. Going to see a comic-based movie doesn’t make you a nerd.

Jeff Foxworthy has his famous You Might Be A Redneck If… sketch, and with the rising mainstream popularity of geek culture, there comes a necessity to distinguish true nerds from recent converts, so I thought I’d come up with a similarly styled list of rules to help separate the fo’ realz from the wannabes.

Now, many other lists say that nerds must wear glasses (preferably with tape around the bridge), speak Klingon (binary, C++, or some other geeky language), and have all the social graces of an ostrich with its head in the sand, but these should not be the required defining hallmarks of a great, eclectic group of hardcore fans of all things geek: video games, science, science fiction, comics, etc.

We are more than the negative stereotypes that have often been levied against us. So without further ado, I present my homage to Foxworthy and true geekdom, You Might be a Nerd if… (read more)